Split Nights
If you read today’s instagram post & you’re looking for more step-by-step info- keep reading! I’ll answer all of your questions about a common sleep challenge that many parents face.
What are split nights?
Does your baby ever wake in the middle of the night but instead of needing a quick feed or resettling, they are trying to get up and wanting to play? They may look totally awake. When this is happening consecutively, 4-5 nights a week- a pattern has been established and we call these “split nights”. Your baby may want to stay up for 1-2 hours or maybe even an entire wake window before being ready to go back to sleep.
Why does it happen?
Sleep disruptions can happen to anyone, kids and adults alike. But when daytime sleep is unbalanced, split nights can occur. Most often I have seen this happen when naps aren’t going well, so to compensate, the parent puts the baby down for a really early bedtime. I know I’ve done this before when my daughter skips her nap. Unfortunately, when you start to do this a few nights in a row- it may lead to 13-14 hour nights which eventually end up in split nights.
If daytime sleep is too high, or bedtime too early- sleep pressure is low. If they are having a 6pm bedtime, by 2am they’ve already had 8 hours of sleep. That’s a lot! The pressure just may not be high enough for them to resettle, and instead they want to play until 4am before they are ready for sleep again. Or, maybe they take really great, long daytime naps. But then you’re still thinking they’ll sleep 12 hours overnight. This might be way more sleep than they need (24 hour sleep totals widely vary) so again, that sleep pressure has worn off.
This doesn’t mean you can’t have an early bedtime- but daytime sleep needs to be taken into consideration!
Some considerations:
If the baby is waking up distressed, there may be something else going on outside of split nights.
If your baby is working on a new milestone, that may be the cause for the wake up! Babies love to practice their new skills at night. They may practice these skills for up to two weeks
If these wake ups have been happening 4-6 nights of the week and for 2-3 weeks or more, then split nights are likely what is happening and sleep may need some tweaking.
So, What Can You Do?
Correcting this issue will require some parent-led changes and support. Never a bad thing! Remember, as a baby-led sleep specialist, I always encourage parent-led changes as well, when appropriate and when parents can support any emotion that may accompany the change.
For this situation, the night needs to condense before it can extend again.
Step by Step:
Shift bedtime later each night by 15 minutes.
If your child doesn’t adapt super easily, you may also need to adjust nap. Essentially, we want that last nap of the day to end late enough so that the baby can make it to the later bedtime.
If you need to, you can also add a second nap in to help get through the day. A couple ways to do this is to wake the baby earlier so they are ready for an earlier morning nap and then have built up enough sleep pressure to need a second nap. Or, you can always cap the first nap to be pretty short, and then they can take a later, longer second nap.
You’ll keep adjusting the bedtime later until the split night “closes”. So if the first 15 minutes didn’t work, try moving it back another 15 minutes etc.
If moving bedtime back is not working (we don’t want you pushing back bedtime to 10pm if that doesn’t work for your family), then start waking the baby 15 minutes earlier each day. Usually this will help resolve the issue.
As a reminder, when you adjust sleep schedules, hold the same bedtime for 2-3 nights before adjusting again. It is hard to see a change with just one night difference.
Once you’ve been able to close the split night, stick with whatever schedule you were on when it closed for 5 or even 7 nights. At that time, you can start moving bedtime up by 15 minutes until you get it to an ideal time for your family. It will likely need to be later than it was when the split nights started.
Remember- some babies do not need 12 hours of sleep overnight! 10-11 hours may be all you can get out of them and that is perfectly reasonable. With that knowledge, you’ll want to set your bedtime at a reasonable hour and keep in mind what time they will wake in the morning.
Needing further support? Book a free 15 minute consultation call with me here.