Preparing for a New Baby
Welcome! I assume if you are here you have a baby on the way, or perhaps you recently had one. Whatever your reason, I hope this post brings you peace and confidence- that you are perfectly made for your baby and that you can trust your own instincts.
Here are my top 6 recommendations:
Seek Out Education
Breastfeeding- if you plan to breastfeed, taking a basic breastfeeding class or having a consult with an IBCLC can be really helpful.
Preparing for birth- Whether you plan to birth at home, at a birth center or in a hospital- medicated or unmedicated- taking a class to prepare for labor and birth is important!
Newborn Sleep- This one is not as widely out there, but I think one of the most important. Education on normal infant sleep behaviors, why they wake, sleep science, the attachment relationship, the benefit of emotion can all be so beneficial for a new mom. I truly feel that having this information can help you manage expectations and also set you up for an easier postpartum experience. I offer a 1:1 newborn sleep education call- book a free 15 minute phone call here to find out more.
Manage Expectations
Hopefully receiving some newborn sleep education will help you curb your expectations. I want to just fully admit here that when I was pregnant- I 100% said “oh my baby will definitely sleep through the night by 3 months old- I have to go back to work!”. *Insert face palm here*. I had absolutely no idea how I planned to have my baby STTN at that age, but really it was just a lack of education.
All babies are different. There are unicorn babies, and low sleep need babies & high sleep need babies- and everything in between. Try to listen less to what your friends/neighbors/others are telling you about their babies.
Think about it this way: do you sleep the same way/amount of time as your friends/partner? Likely not. Your baby is the same! You won’t know their sleeping preferences and patterns until your baby arrives. Keep your expectations low and remember that it is normal for babies to be wakeful at night. This is actually a protective factor against SIDS.
Setting up your Sleep Environment
Feel free to have fun decorating a nursery- and then also acknowledge that your baby may not sleep in there for possibly a year (or less or more). The AAP recommends room sharing for the first year of life. The more important sleep environment to set up will be your room.
White Noise:
You don’t have to use white noise, but this can be a helpful sleep association for a baby. We used the Hatch for our white noise, and the rohm when traveling. The dohm is another one I love.
Safe Sleep Space:
If you plan to bedshare, be sure to research the safe sleep 7 and set up your sleep space to fit those guidelines. If you’d like to have baby in your room but in a different sleep space, you can utilize a bassinet or even just a pack n play or crib in your room. We were handed down both a bassinet and a crib, but I like try to be less consumerist- so if you have to buy new, I think you could just get a crib and position it near your bed, or use your pack n play with a bassinet insert etc. Any crib or bassinet should have nothing in it. Baby should be placed on his/her back to sleep.
Black Out Shades
You don’t have to use these, but can be helpful especially in the early months when baby is still figuring out day from night. You can just buy black out curtains, or even portable black out shades that stick to the window. We have these and love them.
Room Temperature
Babies sleep better in cooler temps! 68-72 is ideal. If you can’t get the temp in that range, be sure to dress baby accordingly.
Spend Time Preparing
I cannot stress enough how important rest is after baby comes. Not only for you and your recovery but for your bonding with baby. Have you heard of the “5-5-5 rule”? 5 days in bed, 5 on the bed, 5 days near the bed.
If you can, prep some freezer meals ahead of time. Possibly sign up for a meal service like Freshly which are meals that come fully prepared. The less time you or your partner have to be preparing food, the better.
Set up a bedside postpartum basket. Breast pads, your pump, headphones, a book, healing ointments etc. This way you can just grab things as you need them.
If you are able, set up someone to come clean your home. Prepare for how you want to handle visitors in the first weeks. We didn’t see anyone for almost 10 days and it was so nice to have that time just us.
Bringing in your Village
Our society has gotten so far from where we used to be. Women were never meant to do this alone. You were supposed to be surrounded by other women who could help do the things that needed to get done while you bonded with your baby. Unfortunately, that’s not the case anymore. Some people don’t even live near family.
So while you’re preparing for baby to arrive, think about this question- who can be your village? Can someone set up a meal train for you so that people will drop off meals to you while you are healing from birth? Can you set up someone to clean your home? Do you have a friend who can come help you around the house, or even just hold the baby while you shower?
It’s okay to depend on others and bring them in to help support your during this time.
Listen to your Intuition
This one is so important to me. If I could encourage you to do anything, it would be to block out all the “rules” that you may have collected over the years. Things like:
don’t hold the baby too much (what? Why? Your baby just came out of your womb where they lived for 40 straight weeks… seems normal that they may want a lot of contact and closeness?”
ANYTHING you’ve heard related to fear or judgement surrounding bedsharing. Do your own research and make your own choices.
That you must sleep train. Sleep is developmental. You don’t train someone to sleep. You may train them to stop calling out for you. But you are not teaching them self-soothing and “how to sleep”.
Not to feed to sleep, rock to sleep, etc. You can do anything that feels right for your baby. No bad habits.
Try to really tune into what your baby and your body is telling you. You will have everything you need to know.
I hope this helps you. Share with a pregnant momma who may enjoy learning this information!