Taking a Weekend away as a Mom
Happy Tuesday everyone! I hope everyone is feeling rested and rejuvenated. I spent the weekend out of state with my girlfriends. Before I left, I posted a reel about it and got lots of questions and feedback. So today I’m sharing my top tips for leaving for the weekend when you’re a Mom!
First, I want to normalize that if you are a mom of a young baby (or even toddler) and you don’t feel ready to separate from your child- there should be absolutely no pressure from the outside world to do so. But, I also want to acknowledge that there IS a difference between not leaving because you don’t feel ready to do so and not leaving because you feel some sort of guilt. If you are craving a break, you deserve it. I can’t stress that enough. Motherhood has somehow become martyrdom in our society and it is not meant to be this way.
For me, I am a better Mom when I have a break. I was an active person with interests before I had my daughter and I will continue to be so when my children grow up and move out. So, it’s important to me that I continue doing things for ME now too. But, I also didn’t leave her with my husband for a weekend until she was 12 months and I have only left her one time for one night with someone else. This past weekend (she's 19 months) was my second time away for a weekend.
You know what else is wonderful about me going away? My daughter is 100% a mama’s girl. If I'm around, she wants me. Going away allows my husband to get 1:1 time just the two of them and to develop their attachment and bond even deeper. I also believe it is good for our children to see both parents doing things for themselves from time to time. It can also be beneficial for our children to see us investing time into close friendships.
Here are my top tips for your first weekend away:
If you need to, make it a quick 1 or 2 night trip away. Even just 24 hours away can be so rejuvenating for the soul, enough to fill your bucket so you come back refreshed and ready to parent.
Acceptance that your partner or the new caregiver is going to do things differently and this is okay. My first trip away I tried to control it much more. The second time I said “bye!” and accepted that whatever happened (sleep, eating, outside time, etc.) was just fine by me. I can tell you that this was really freeing to me. I didn’t feel the need to be on my phone constantly, checking in via text- the whole point of a weekend away is to relax and forget the responsibilities for a while.
Do you have specific worries? Talk about them out loud. For me, I didn’t have worries when leaving her with my husband but I did when we left her with my cousin for one night. They have a pool without a fence and I was just very anxious about it. I talked about it with her and I felt much better. Sometimes just talking about what you are worried about can help.
Try to remember that you chose your partner to marry and you probably thought they would be a good Dad/Mom etc. Be confident in your choice & once on your trip, let go, be in the moment & have faith that everything will be okay. I can promise you that your child isn’t mad at you for leaving, even if the goodbye was hard.
Prep your child ahead of time! Talk to him/her (it doesn’t matter how young they are) about the trip ahead of time. Tell them all the details, tell them you’ll miss them, tell them how long you’ll be gone.
Good luck, Mama. When you feel ready, you can do this. I promise, it’s good for your soul. :)