Happy Mother’s Day
I had no idea what Motherhood would be like before I became one. I had ideas of course, stories from friends, things I had seen from my own experiences, etc. But truly, I just didn’t know. What does it mean to be a mother? Why are the pressures on a mother so high? Who places them there? Who supports mothers? In honor of Mother’s Day this weekend, I thought I’d address this topic.
For Mother’s Day this year, the only thing I wanted was 24 hours in a hotel. I guess I feel partially guilty when I say this out loud, because to some, it may sound ridiculous. “You’re just leaving your husband/toddler to go down the street to stay at a hotel?” Well…. Yes. The thing is, as a mother, I am always on. I can’t just go into the bedroom and turn it off. If I hear a cry, my ears are peaked to see what’s wrong. Should I go help? I can’t just melt away peacefully into my book or a movie. And I need to be able to do that. I need to have 24 hours that are just about me. What did I do before I was a Mom? How did I sleep before I always had one ear listening for the cry in the middle of the night? I need to remind myself of those things, those days. So yes… I’ll spend 24 hours alone in a hotel, probably miss my toddler like crazy and come back feeling refreshed and ready to be “Mom” again.
**Insert comment here that if you aren’t ready to leave/ don’t want to leave- you do you, Mama. This is what I want but doesn’t mean you have to!
Thinking about that reminds me of “mom guilt”, something we’ve all probably experienced. Mine mostly comes from if I let her watch a show or feed her more “processed” foods. I know some Mom’s feel guilt for leaving their children, or for not “doing enough”. Maybe you feel guilty because you don’t throw huge birthday parties for your children or you don’t take them on crazy trips. Maybe it’s as simple as you spent too much time on your phone or feel you didn’t read enough books. I bet there are a million reasons why moms feel “guilt”. But.. Why don’t Dads get “dad guilt”? When they leave for their golf outing, are they stressed worrying about the kids? Do they worry if the kids didn’t eat enough veggies today? I just want to say that sure, I bet some do. But many don’t. How can we help alleviate this guilt from a mother?
I don’t have all the answers. But here is what I would say. Have a Mom in your life? A sister, a friend? Encourage them to give themselves grace. If they share with you a tough time, remind them that the very fact that they are having guilt shows that they are a good mom. Did they yell at their child? Remind them the connection is in the repair. Do they want to get a night away? Remind them how helpful it can be to pour into ourselves before we can pour into others.
Are you a Mom yourself? Know that we are all in this together, that your children don’t care what you look like or if you bake homemade cookies- they only want you and your love.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mama’s out there…. The ones who have lost their own moms, to the ones who have lost their babies, to those who are pregnant and about to embark upon the journey, to the ones who so badly want to be a Mom but are still trying…you deserve to be celebrated today & always, to be given grace, to know that there is no such thing as perfect.