Answering Popular Sleep Questions
I have been meaning to answer these questions for awhile that were sent to me, so I thought I’d put them all into a blog post along with a couple other popular sleep questions. Hope this helps!
When can you start structuring sleep (meaning daily schedules etc.)?
This is so dependent on the baby and the family. I strongly encourage my clients to really lean into babies natural patterns and routines throughout the first 3-4 months, taking this time to slow down, connect with your baby and really observe/learn who they are. The more familiar you are with WHO your baby is and what works for them, the easier it will be to start to implement a more regular routine.
Now, what you decide to do after 3-4 months is really up to you. I, personally, do not like to schedule my babies days. It doesn’t work for me, we are a very on the go family and every day could look a little different. Feeling pressured to sleep at certain times would create more stress for me- so I simply don’t do it. What does work for me is a general routine, that shifts often in the first year of life as babies develop and can handle longer periods of wake time and as they drop naps.
If you are into a more structured day, I would say around the time your baby is on 3 naps a day, would be an easier time to plan for a day that looks generally the same each day. However, this will depend on what kind of napper your baby is. Are they consistent? All over the map? Naps can range from 30 min to 2ish hours at this time, so it can be tough to stick to a specific schedule.
One tip is to commit to waking baby at the same time every day. Let’s say, 7am. If your baby is 9 months old, you might know by now that they can handle about 2.5-3 years of wake time first thing in the morning. So you can have predictability in your day, knowing that it will start at 7am, and that the first nap will be between 9:30 and 10. If baby sleeps a predictable amount of time, lets say 1-1.5 hours, then you know the second nap will be somewhere around 2/2:30. I always recommend having a flexible routine vs. a strict schedule :)
How do you put the baby down for naps in the crib without waking them (after falling asleep in your arms)?
Oh what a great question! This can be a tough one, depending on who YOUR baby is! And what age they are. Many, many babies do not want to be put down for naps at all, especially in those first few months. This is normal! They are looking for an environment that is similar to a maternal uterine environment- they want warmth, closeness, touch- and giving them these things help them grow and develop.
But, if you want to work towards crib naps- here are a few tips:
Warm the crib with a heating pad and remove it just before the transfer
Wait until baby is in a deep sleep (pick up the arm and drop it- if its dead weight, they are fast asleep)
Put baby down on butt first then lower the head. (To avoid the sensation of falling)
Stay close, continue shushing or patting and slowly move away.
If they wake, pick them up and try again tomorrow :)
At what age can you expect consistency?
I love this one too. Consistency is hard, especially in the first year. Things are ever evolving- sleep progressions, new skills, milestones, illnesses, teething- it all affects sleep and can make consistency hard.
Every single baby is different. When my daughter was 10 months, we had consistency and when she was 11 months she slept through the night and every single day/night looked the same (not as far as when she went to bed because we have always just did whatever worked for us that particular day)- wake, one nap for 2 hours, bedtime, sleep through the night in her crib. I have a 10 month old boy now and consistency is not his vocabulary and I’m not thinking that any long periods of sleep on his own are anywhere nearby :). Thats ok!
I would say by age 12-18 months, when they drop to one nap, you have a really good idea of what your day looks like. Naps are usually pretty predictable in timing at this point and wake windows won’t really change.
Nighttime can be less consistent really up past 2 years, depending on who your baby is.
Do you focus on sleep time or wake time?
Definitely wake time. I tune into my baby and watch his cues for when he is starting to get tired. I put him to sleep as soon as he shows those cues- and allow him to sleep however long he wants (no longer than 2 hours). I cannot control his sleep time; I can’t force him to sleep longer than he will. But I can control wake times a bit more, learning what his ideal wake windows are, and ensuring total daytime sleep doesn’t go past 2-3 hours (for a baby over 6 months of age).
How to gently wake baby up when they take a later nap without the rest of the evening being fussy?
Well- this depends on what is important to you and again (sorry, I’m going to keep saying it), who your baby is. I can wake my babies up without them being fussy. If you’ve done this and your baby is fussy, you might want to try to focus on shifting naps earlier in the day (or waking baby earlier from an earlier nap) so that you do not have to cut that last nap and can therefore get rid of the fussiness. You could also just shift bedtime later that day, if a late nap had to happen.
I think the answer to this is less to do with how to gently wake them up but how to focus on getting them that daytime sleep they need so that they aren’t TOO fussy before bed (some fussiness is totally normal!).
Am I supposed to put my baby to sleep without feeding her?
Good question! No! First off, you are not “supposed to do anything that doesn’t work for you! Feeding your baby to sleep is biologically designed. If it works for you, and your baby, feed to sleep all you want.
You can also work on building in a sleep association ladder, things that you do to help aid baby in falling asleep such as singing a song, or humming, patting their bum, white noise, sleep sacks, a dark room, bouncing or rocking, etc.
Should I limit daytime sleep?
Yes, and no. If you are seeing split nights, issues falling asleep at night, lots of wakes, etc- then yes. If your baby is older than 6ish months, usually yes. I recommend no more than 2-3 hours of daytime sleep, typically. If your baby is younger than 6 months, and has no issues with nighttime, then there is no need to limit daytime sleep.